


Love is More Complicated Than You'd Think

by trubleinmyparadise



Series: lonely together, chosen family forever [4]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Background Relationships, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Getting Together, Hikaru is hinted to be asexual, Huni and Mori are here just not enough to tag, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Romance, Throuple, brief angst, but he's bi af, characters being bad at emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 13:19:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16933980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trubleinmyparadise/pseuds/trubleinmyparadise
Summary: Hikaru finally realizes somethings, Kaoru supports his brother and wants to see him happy, Tamaki and Haruhi assume some things that maybe shouldn't have been left unsaid.  At least they got to eat ice cream.  Many times.  Because ice cream heals all wounds, especially in the summertime.





	Love is More Complicated Than You'd Think

**Author's Note:**

> you thought I was trash for only one ship in this fandom???? no. you're wrong. healthy poly relationships between nice sweet people give me life. also featuring very domestic kyokao at their finest. we stan a power couple. (but make way for the disaster power throuple, we love them too).

Hikaru comes to the full realization during the summer. Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai were graduating soon. They had a ball for the princesses before the two left, as it was unlikely the two would visit the school often, let alone to see their past guests. It was at the ball that they Host Club had their private dance - and he’s sure that’s when it started, though he didn’t know at the time. Hani and Mori danced with each of the Hosts, Kyoya-senpai even joining in for Hani-senpai’s sake, if not for Kaoru’s soft smile. After the jumping around, Tamaki and him took turns sweeping Haruhi off her feet, pouting when Kaoru and Kyoya stole the girl away with sly looks and ringing laughter. During one of these times, Tamaki pouted for a moment, but quickly held out his hand for Hikaru to take with a dazzling grin. 

Thinking nothing of it, the redhead shrugged and took the offered appendage, ignoring the bright, happy look both the blond and his younger brother gave him. And then sighing in defeat when Milor placed a kiss on his knuckles with a flourish. 

Now though, a fourth through the summer, lying on his back on a spread of picnic blankets, staring up at the stars with the rest of his friends, framed by Haruhi and Tamaki, he realized what he was feeling was far from friendship towards the blonde to his right. Instead, it was much the same feeling he had for the brunette to his left.

“Look Hikaru,” he chattered bubbly, “it’s a lion!” Constellations, they were pointing out constellations, the three of them linked by the arms. He blinks, the Hitachiin slowly uncovering just what was happening. Normal friends didn’t act like this, surely the other two must realize this? Hikaru had always been tactile with his brother, and they weren’t romantic, they were brothers, they were twins, they were two souls forever attached, but they would never cross that bridge of intimacy, didn’t want to. Kyoya and Kaoru had that intimacy though, and Hikaru was starting to think he had his own intimacy with others… But still, that tactile nature carried over to people he cared about. But the touching was different for others, skinship a form of affection not many friends shared, and not to this extent.

“It looks more like a bear, Milord.” He tilts his head, staring up where the blond was pointing. “Or maybe a hog with a fan.” Haruhi snorted as Tamaki guffawed, going on to explain how majestic the starry king of the jungle was.

“Lions don’t live in jungles, Tamaki,” came Kyoya’s cool voice. “They live in savannahs and in zoos, and in some cases in private enclosures. If they are given a jungle biome they’re being treated poorly.”

“I love how can you make a joke sad and guilt tripping despite none of us owning exotic wildlife, Kyoya-senpai,” Kaoru states with a sigh. Kyoya, though none of them can see as he stares up at the sky, smirks. They can all sense it as all but Mori shiver. 

“I’d like to think you’re quite rare and beautiful. Would it be insulting to call you exotic?”

“You don’t own me, senpai.”

“Ah, but I do like to think I own your heart.”

Hikaru and Kaoru both make gagging noises, though one has a prominent blush as he squeezes his boyfriend’s hand. 

Hikaru frowns, wondering if he would ever attain that kind of ease in the relationship he wants. How would a relationship with three people even work? In, uh, the bedroom he could see how, but that’s not what he really wants. The ease of his brother and their senpai together, the small touches and loving looks - how could Hikaru obtain that once, let alone twice at the same time?

“I can hear you thinking over there,” Haruhi mumbles. He shifts, pulling the arms on both his sides closer to his chest. As if sensing his anxiety, both teens scoot closer. They don’t say anything, not with Hani-senpai to Tamaki’s right and Mori to Haruhi’s left, but they provide comfort to the boy with troubled thoughts.

He revels in how well they know him, to the point where he can feel tears build up behind his eyes. He calms when he feels a hand run through his hair and rests there. His brother, the two across from each other, head to head, still knew him too well. He rolls his head back a little, letting the fingers get tangled in his locks a little more. 

‘Thanks, I’m okay.’ the action said.

‘I love you,” the slight tug replied. 

Hikaru sighed.

‘Love you, too.”

***

It’s halfway through the summer before he brings it up to Kaoru. They’re sitting together, alone for once in the whirlwind that was their Host Club life. Kaoru is tapping out a rhythm he doesn’t recognize with the eraser end of his pencil, thumb lightly resting on his sketchbook while golden eyes examined the half-finished design critically. Hikaru looked down at his own smudged paper. A familiar smile meets him, merely a shadow of the original. His fingers itch to complete the picture with another, more masculine figure. 

And for once it’s not his own, like he had dared to sketch in the past.

“Hey Kaoru?”

“Hmm?”

“How did you know you were in love?”

The sound of graphite against paper, that had started to drift from across the room, stopped. 

“Well, it’s not like they say in the books and movies. You don’t think of them all the time, but something will remind you of them, and sometimes you’d wish they were with you to make things better…” Hikaru looks up as his brother trails off. He’s examining him, his lips trying to decide whether to smile or frown. “Is it Haruhi?”

Hikaru winces, letting his eyes slip close as his heart pounds. All moisture leaves his mouth, making him want to chug water and never speak again. “It’s ah, yeah. Yeah, it’s Haruhi. But um, I think…” taking a shaky, sharp breath, he forces his lids open and meets his brother’s gaze. “It’s Tamaki too.” 

Kaoru finally settles on smiling, in a way that still makes Hikaru coo, full of encouragement and happiness. “Are you going to do anything about it?” The smile melts into something more reserved, almost sad, but still understanding, still hopeful. 

Hikaru nods. “I’m going to try. I honestly think Tamaki and I could kiss on the lips and he’d think it was a kiss between friends. Stupid french.” His eyebrows furrow, trying to joke but unable to keep the anxiety out of his voice. Kaoru laughs lightly and puts his design down. 

“Common, I think we need a break. Ice cream?”

Hikaru, in lue of replying verbally, gets up to follow his twin to the door of their mother’s workshop.

***

It’s the end of summer before he says anything. He doesn’t do it in his own house, fearing having to relive the memory of rejection everytime he walks into his home, but waits until it’s the three of them alone at one of their “family” outings. (“Because Haruhi! The Host Club is a family, and families do things together!”) Haruhi gave up after that, knowing the real reason. Not many of Ouran’s students got time with their families outside of events and the rare snippets of breaks between travel. The Hitachiins hadn’t seen their parents since the second week of summer. Nonetheless, the entire Host Club made do with the chosen family, laughing and smiling together for an afternoon, even if Haruhi wanted to deny enjoying it just as much as the rest of them.

Tamaki and Haruhi are sitting against a tree in the park, waiting until it’s time for the group to reassemble. Kaoru is off with Hani-senpai on the swings, Mori pushing the small blond even if he could do it himself, and Kyoya on the grass next to them, for once reading something outside of school or work, and instead a popular American novel. 

This was his chance. 

Taking a deep breath, Hikaru throws away the trash he was sent to dispose of - ice cream cups with used napkins stuffed under the stacked plastic lids - and he turns back to the pair underneath the tree. The park is fairly quiet, parents taking their children home while the sun set. The other four are distracted, he could do this.

He takes back his seat on the quilt they brought, right in front of the two, his legs halfway drawn to him and arms looping over to grab at his ankles, jaw resting between his knees. Tamaki smiles at him, but it drops a degree when their eyes meet.

“What’s wrong Hikaru?”

Hikaru berated himself. The position he was in was a dead give-away to his anxieties. His face flushes, the words he had practiced in his head for a week now sounding silly and too scripted. Heat pulses in his chest and on his cheeks. Haruhi reaches up with a frown to feel his forehead. He gulps when cool fingers press against his skin, resisting the urge to lean into them.

“Are you sick? We can go home if you’d like.”

Tamaki pushes forward to grab at Hikaru’s face. “Oh dear Hika! Why didn’t you tell us? Sacrificing yourself into the summer heat just for us is no way to-” He shoves the grappling, needy hands away with a nervous laugh. Having both the people of his affections so close was not helping anybody.

“I’m fine, senpai! I think now that I’m done eating ice cream the warm weather is just catching up to me.” Tamaki blinks, hands falling to support him on the quilt as he leans forward.  
“What did you just call me?”

Now it’s Hikaru’s turn to blink, mouth opening with a squeak. Before he can answer the host club king is turning to Haruhi, grabbing her shoulders and shaking them. “He’s delirious Haruhi! Did you hear him- senpai! Our Hikaru never calls me senpai, oh Haruhi what are we to do!” Hikaru’s heart skips a beat. _‘Our Hikaru’_ sounded so nice. 

Haruhi rolls her eyes, dragging the blond back down as he goes to run in Kaoru’s direction. Hikaru silently thanks her with a look, which she replies with a nod. He didn’t want Kaoru to worry, find out what was actually happening, and then laugh his ass off once they were alone. 

“What’s wrong Hikaru? Something’s been off the whole day, but you’re really starting to worry us.” 

It’s now or not at all, he tells himself.

_“Willyoutwogooutwithme?”_

He says it so fast he’s not sure if he himself can understand what he’s saying. Haruhi lets go of Tamaki’s wrist and sits back on her heels, staring at him with wide, Bambi eyes. Tamaki squirms, confusion on his face. 

Hikaru’s eyes dart between the two, becoming more and more self-conscious as the seconds tick by in hours. The blond to his left finally feels the need to speak.

“Aren’t we out already?”

_‘Holy shit, Kaoru is right, he’s so fucking dense it’s painful.’_

Hikaru feels his soul descend out of his body and into the ground, begging someone to dig him up and launch him into space. Haruhi buries her head in her hands. 

Tamaki, honest to God confused and misunderstanding the question, tilts his head like a damn puppy. He was so not ready to explain what he means by dating, by dating both of them, and would rather go ahead and have his heart stomped on so he could move on before he graduates, thank you very much. 

Luckily, or unluckily, as the sound has Hikaru’s heart constricting as something pulls the air out of his lungs, Haruhi saves him from having to elaborate by laughing. Someone granted Hikaru’s earlier wish, his soul was plunging into the sun as his face burned and tears built up behind his eyes. 

He stands sharply, even as he wants nothing more than to curl up into a ball and die, and tries to keep anger from boiling over. “I’ll, uh, see you guys later.” It comes out more aggressive than he wants, but unless he wants to have a mental break down in the middle of the commoner park in front of the people he cared about the most, two of them just having rejected his affections and one of the two laughing about it, then he needs to leave. So he runs, he runs even as Tamaki calls for him to wait, a more feminine voice joining his after a beat. 

He runs until he’s sure they can’t see them anymore and then runs some more. His phone buzzes endlessly in his pocket, but he ignores it. He doesn’t want their sympathy, doesn’t deserve Kaoru’s gentle patience, doesn’t want a speech from Hani-senpai on why he should look to the positives and breath like Mori-senpai taught him. 

He just wants to be alone.

***

He didn’t realize how big the park was. There are endless trees around him, the sun is all but gone, making him trip so many times he gave up and curled up against a thick tree. The buzzing had stopped a few minutes ago, but he had no doubt they were still looking for him.

Hikaru felt horrible. He had just ruined the only good thing he had obtained by himself, all for what? Stupid feelings? Teenage relationships rarely lasted when they were romantic, but he could have potentially had life-long friendships with Haruhi and Tamaki if he hadn’t gone and told them.

He should have known they wouldn’t want him that way, were better off together without him, but he had never thought the outcome he was half-way expecting would… hurt so much. Tamaki’s confusion was manipulated as tears fell, turning into one of mocking as Haruhi’s laughter turned toxic in his head. 

His face buried itself in his elbows, wanting nothing more that to disappear and never have to go home, or to school, or to Host Club - oh God.

A sob ripped itself out of his chest. His throat hurt as his breathing became erratic, the world racing in circles around him. Fingers clung at his hair as air clumsily knocked in and out of him.  
How could he do this? The one thing he had that meant everything to him, and he’d ruined it for his own selfish feelings. He wouldn’t be able to face the club room after this, wouldn’t be able to face his friends. Could he even look in the mirror? Hot shame and burning guilt churned in his stomach, his temperature rising and consuming him as his choked breathing quickened. What if he couldn’t look at his twin brother without being reminded on how he screwed up?

“-karu? Hikaru!” He flinched as two sets of footsteps came closer. He curled as tight as his body would allow, trying to disappear into the darkness of sunset and the rough bark digging into his side.  
“Hikaru…” They didn’t touch him, which was for the best. As he hiccuped and tried and failed to phase into the ground, they settled into the grass around him. Haruhi and Tamaki looked at each other, helpless. In each of the pair’s eyes were tears. The blond had been crying since Hikaru had gone missing, but Haruhi hadn’t until she had seen the redhead in the full brunt of his distress.

“Please, mon ange,” Tamaki murmured, scooting closer to the younger male. “Please, there’s been a misunderstanding, Hikaru, just look at us.” Haruhi’s heart hurt as Hikaru risked peeking a fear soaked eye at them. 

She tried smiling, but her lips trembled too much. Instead, she reached out in a familiar gesture for the other’s hand. On instinct, Hikaru accepted it, but gave a pained look. Regret filled her as the boy’s gaze flickered between them like a scared animal. Why had she reacted that way earlier, knowing he was at times so fragile? 

Tamaki nudged even closer until he could thread his fingers through tangled orange locks. “Mon ange, you worried us so much when you…” Tamaki sighed, even as Hikaru uncurled himself further. “You should have let me process what you were asking, Hikaru.” He glances at Haruhi, and smiles slightly. “What you were asking us.” His eyes focus back in Hikaru’s unsure gaze. 

Haruhi nodded, getting comfortable by leaning against the tree too. “It’s partially my fault. I know how you jump to conclusions, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did it’s just,” she shrugs, her face pulling a peculiar expression in the half-light. “To be honest, I thought we were already dating.”

Hikaru suddenly stirred, snapping to attention and gaping at the brunet. “What?” His voice is shrill, an octave higher than usual. Tamaki laughs freely, coming to rest on the other side of Hikaru, looping arm around the boy’s waist, finger’s brushing the other two’s clasped hands. 

“I thought so to! I thought I made it clear our relationship had evolved beyond more than friendship at the ball!” The blonde smiled so wide his eyes almost closed. Warmth radiated in his expression as he explained. “What better way to express your love for your partners than claiming their hands in a dance?” 

Haruhi snorted. “Wow senpai, Hikaru’s just found out he’s our boyfriend and you’re already bringing up love?”

Tamaki flustered, but didn’t become nearly as red as Hikaru, who appeared to be short circuiting. 

Not able to take the emotional stress anymore, Hikaru burst into a fit of giggles. The only way he could describe the floatiness he felt was being high. He’d never been high before, but he imagines this is what it’s like. If so, he can see why people become addicts. Euphoric tears stream down his face, coating dried ones of bitterness and pain.

A hand clutching his and another, bigger hand resting on his nape is the only thing that grounds him. He can hear someone calling his brother to tell him they had found him, he was fine, but it only made him laugh harder. Kaoru would never let this go.

“Hey,” Haruhi leans into his field of vision, brown eyes impossibly deep in the shrouding forest. “We’re taking you home, okay? We can wait till tomorrow to discuss things if you want to, I’m sure you’re exhausted.” Hikaru shakes his head, catching his breath as he’s made to stand. Strong arms half carry him in a direction he doesn’t register. It comes to a surprise when a familiar pair of arms latch onto him.

His euphoria is stamped down and replaced with exhaustion as Kaoru shudders in his arms. He simply clutches his twin back, looking over his shoulder to meet the eyes of a worried shadow king. Hikaru swallows, knowing his brother must have been walking his inner turmoil in circles, and Kyoya couldn’t calm him down. It’s to be expected, Hikaru assures himself, as they file into the limo. At the end of the day, Hikaru and Kaoru had to know the other was safe in order to function, that’s what came with having another half, it would never change, not in a million years. Hikaru just hoped, as he looks to the weary but smiling faces of Haruhi and Tamaki, the stoic expressions of Mori-senpai and the dewy eyed Hani-senpai, of Kyoya quietly ordering them all specialty ice cream for their return, that their other relationships wouldn’t suffer from their residual dependence in the future.

***

Ice cream and maple syrup sits half eaten and half melted as golden orbs peer over the rim. Kaoru is tucked into his side, own bowl empty but the younger reluctant to get up with the confusion and frustration radiating from his brother.

Hikaru puffs a short sigh when the boy nudges him for the second time since they’d settled on the couch. Haruhi and Tamaki had both been shooting the two looks from their end of the perpendicular couch, but Hikaru was resolutely looking away each time he caught their gaze. And each time, he’d take a bite of cold dairy to calm his reddening face.

“Are you going to talk, or do I need to wait till later?”

Kaoru says it quietly, his lips barely moving, and in response Hikaru gives a barely there shrug. 

“Apparently we’ve been a throuple this entire summer, but we’re all horrible about talking about our feelings, so I was kind of left out of the loop.” Hikaru ducked his head with a scowl when he felt his brother tremble beside him, holding back laughter. “Hey,” he still keeps quiet, keeps their conversation in their little momentary bubble, “this is partially your fault.” He shoves their shoulders together in a rougher imitation of Kaoru’s nudging. “You’re so touchy-feely it makes it harder for me to decipher these things.” 

The laughter dies down, and Kaoru develops that ‘deep-thought-on-the brink-of-spiralling’ look that Hikaru loathes to see. Honestly, his brother has a bad habit of overthinking anything. “It was a joke, Kaoru, you haven’t done anything I haven’t egged on.” Which is true, they’ve both been comfortable with touching, hugs and cheek-kisses, snuggling and cuddling, though they rarely did the latter two anymore- and both of them have equally initiated it in the past.

“But-” 

Hikaru gives an exaggerated eye roll.

“Kyoya-senpai, tell your boyfriend to stop doing it again!”

He receives a sharp slap on the arm even as Kyoya gives a faint snort from the other side of Tamaki. 

“Love, listen to your brother.”

Kaoru looks like he wants to scream, a fact that makes Hikaru want to laugh, but composes himself with a hard look at the two who’ve offended him. With a hum, Kaoru removes himself from the older’s side, and trots off to the kitchen. 

“Kyoya-senpai, help me reach the sprinkles in the top cabinet?” 

The raven-haired teen, knowing full well the request was one, not a question but an order, and two, a ploy to get the desired three alone - follows the boy’s retreating form because he is, in fact, whipped for smaller male. Hikaru simmers at the traitor, who only offers oddly sympathetic grey eyes that mismatch the smirk on his face. 

Hikaru doesn’t know what he’s so smug about, he’s going to get an earful when his twin gets him alone. 

Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai had already left, after they had eaten their sweets - or in Mori’s case watched Hani eat sweets, Mori couldn’t eat ice cream twice in one day like the rest of them - they had taken off. There was a conspiracy, Hikaru knew there was as Tamaki and Haruhi moved to take the spots on his left and right respectively. Rotten brothers and rotten friends, that’s all he was allowed to think as his face flushed for the millionth time since he realized his feelings. Any other thoughts were drowned out as shoulders pressed into his on either side.

“Are you still okay to talk Hikaru?” Haruhi looked up at him with those carmel eyes he so often found himself melting into. Gulping, he gives her a shaky nod. His hands are so sweaty, why’d he have to be so nervous? He reminds himself it’s better than the alternative, in the past he would have been more explosive under the slightest hint of pressure. Mori-senpai had really helped him with his unhealthy coping mechanisms. Hikaru reminded himself to think the tall man again if he survived this conversation.

“Yeah,” he decided to fill the silence. “Could you guys maybe fill me in on the whole two-out-of-three assumed we were a throuple already while the odd man out was still pining? Was there a meeting I missed or something?” It’s hard to get his eyes to dart from one face to another, but he does it anyway. It feels akin to juggling, talking on such a delicate subject with two different personalities.

“No, it wasn’t ever really discussed, honestly,” Tamaki assures him, cooing inwardly a little at the relief that spread on the pink face before him. “I suppose both of us caught on at different times.” The blonde shifted a little in embarrassment. “I was honestly scared if I said something first something would happen, like saying He Who Shall Not be Named’s name.” Tamaki winced at the incredulous look Haruhi shot him and the chortle that escaped Hikaru.

“Milord, our relationship isn’t Voldemort,” Hikaru smiled at him, but raised a brow when the boy perked up in excitement. He lunged forward, pecking the smaller’s cheek with a squeal. If Hikaru was pink before, he was drenched in crimson now. “Milord!”

“I’m sorry!” He shouted happily, “‘you said ‘our relationship’ and it sounded really nice.” He locked eyes with Haruhi. “Didn’t it sound really nice mon petit chou?” Haruhi’s turn to blush, finally, but she rolled her eyes at the moniker of endearment. 

“Yes, senpai,” she admitted belatedly, but with a smile. “It does have a nice ring to it, I guess.” 

Hikaru fiddled with the blanket in his lap, needing confirmation. “So, we’re for sure now, yeah? A thing, together, an item? Like I can hold your hands and call you two pretty and handsome, and it’s totally okay?”

God, he felt like a twittering school girl, one of the shy ones who tried to come to Host Club but always got too flustered to really say anything, always leaving without meeting anyone’s eyes and never coming back. Suddenly his cheek was being pampered with little kisses again, and he resisted the urge to flinch or squeak. 

He looked to Haruhi helplessly while half his face was assaulted, but was met with a smirk. Oh no, he was rubbing off on her. He grimaced slightly, waving the raised brow he received off flippantly as he half hugged the blonde latching to his side and giggling into his neck.

Hikaru’s choice of phrase, though not his intention, caused him to derail to another conversation they would have to have, albeit in the future. And wasn’t that a cold bucket of water dumped on his head.

As if sensing the Talk had been had, Kaoru entered with Kyoya in tow.

“Tono, I didn’t think I’d have to give you a ‘brother talk’ but if you keep climbing on Hikaru like that we should have a conversation of our own, ne?”

Tamaki, pouting, pulled away and crossed his arms. 

“To imply I would do such dirty thing to mon ange, especially right in front of mon petit chou nonetheless, wounds me, Kaoru.”

“Besides,” Hikaru, flush gone with only a trace of pink tinge, sat up straighter, “you wouldn’t allow me to give Kyoya-senpai a speech, and I’m the older twin!” Kaoru’s sharp amber eyes connected with his.

“Yes, because we both know Kyoya-senpai is perfectly capable, and you wouldn’t be able to carry out threats. I, on the other hand, have numerous ways to uphold my word.” The smile Kaoru gave was one of innocence lined with honey, a trap if Hikaru had seen one. As Tamaki shivered in fear next to him, Haruhi looked from all the boys with a furrowed brow. 

“You know Kaoru, I’m starting to think Kyoya-senpai is a bad influence on you.”

“Trust me,” Hikaru mutters, putting an arm between Kaoru and Tamaki with distrust, “this is 100% him.” Haruhi frowns, but the twins continue to have a silent conversation.

‘I love you, but stop.’

‘I’m joking. Mostly.’ a tiny quirk of the lip and the tilt of the head. ‘I love you too.’

And this concludes Kaoru’s stance, the redhead sighing dramatically and turning to Kyoya. “I suppose there’s no need for double dates, we do that enough already, huh?”

“Tamaki Suoh and your brother are getting nowhere near our private time,” he narrows his eyes at Haruhi, “she may, but only sparingly.” When Tamaki and Hikaru start to interject, offended, as Haruhi remains neutral, Kaoru nods approvingly.

“Deal.” 

Just like that the two are gone, off to do whatever it is Shadow Kings and Little Devils do together.

“So,” Tamaki interrupts the silence that had fallen over them. “Movie?”


End file.
